{"product_id":"kennedizine","title":"Kennedizine","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKENNEDIZINE™\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eExtended-Release Controversy\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e60 countt | Unscented | Leak-Proof | Printed on the Inside\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eFormulated for the marginalized healthcare worker. Prescribed by the scientific community. Trusted by dog owners who've simply had enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eClinically proven* to provide instant relief when applied directly to the waste generated by our nation's top health official, or in more routine cases, your dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAsk your vet if Kennedizine is right for your pet's waste management needs. Side effects, interactions, and warnings available via peel-and-reveal label. Not affiliated with, endorsed by, or approved by any federal agency.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e*\u003cem\u003eNot clinically proven. It's a dog poop bag.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eKnown side effects and documented behavior\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAs Health and Human Services Secretary, RFK Jr. dramatically restructured the Food and Drug Administration, Centers for Disease Control, National Institutes of Health, and EPA, simultaneously, causing mass staff departures and resulting in the loss of more than 25% of PhD scientists. \u003cem\u003e(Science, Jan. 26, 2025)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade headlines by admitting to having snorted cocaine off toilet seats during his struggle with addiction, expressing that he is no longer afraid of germs. \u003cem\u003e(This Past Weekend with Theo Von — 639)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStated that a parasitic worm “ate a portion of my brain,” and then died. Court documents confirm this claim. \u003cem\u003e(NYT, May 2024; incident ~2010; CNN\/PBS, revealed in 2012 divorce deposition)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRan for President as a Democrat, then an Independent, and then endorsed Trump for president — all within 12 months. \u003cem\u003e(2023–2024)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClaimed the measles vaccine is more dangerous than the measles virus while the U.S. experienced the highest case count in over 30 years. \u003cem\u003e(2025)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSuggested COVID-19 was “ethnically targeted” to spare Jewish and Chinese people. He, however, walked back the claim amid broad criticism. \u003cem\u003e(NY Post\/Washington Post, July 2023)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePlant-based.\u003c\/strong\u003e PBAT + PLA + corn starch. Compostable in 90 days (industrial, ASTM D6400).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLeak-proof.\u003c\/strong\u003e 18-micron plant-based film (PSM), leak-tested 3×.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGenerous size.\u003c\/strong\u003e 9″×13″ — large enough to cover your hand for sanitary cleanup.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e60 bags per box\u003c\/strong\u003e on 4 rolls of 15. EZ Tear System.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eResponsibly made.\u003c\/strong\u003e BSCI-certified facility. Non-toxic water-based ink. Packaging made of recycled materials.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eResistant to water, dictators, fascists, tech bros, and oligarchs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHelps make the world less shitty.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smolotov","offers":[{"title":"1 PACK","offer_id":49086629478555,"sku":"PWB-01PK-60CT-RANC","price":17.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2 PACK","offer_id":49086629511323,"sku":"PWB-01PK-60CT-RANC","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3 PACK","offer_id":49086629544091,"sku":"PWB-01PK-60CT-RANC","price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/1975\/4395\/files\/Kennedizine_Bag_Box_Rolls_2400px.png?v=1784938094","url":"https:\/\/littlebluemarket.com\/products\/kennedizine","provider":"Little Blue Market","version":"1.0","type":"link"}